I Wave My Hand Back and Forth

  Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bit obsessed with my hair. We have been through a lot these past ten years. Up until the time I was in eighth grade, I had very long hair.

Baby Tai <3

 Throughout middle school my hair had began to break off.  I started taking the responsibility of combing and caring for my own hair. This was a bad idea. My hair began breaking badly, to the point that it had to be cut. I cut my hair to a very short bob after finishing middle school. At first, I liked my hair. As it grew out, I hated it. It was too short for a ponytail and too long to really do anything cute to it. I began to wear corn rolls with extensions and up-dos to let it grow out...in style. My hair did grow throughout my high school years.

Right after graduating HS!

 By the time I reached my high school graduation, my hair was a little past shoulder length. I was so excited. My hair had length and it was healthy.  All was wonderful until I got to college.

My first day on campus, Fall 2006

Fall 2006, first semester of college

    College was fun, but I never seemed to have time to care for my hair. This resulted in not moisturizing my hair enough (with the blond highlights I had at the time), and using a lot of heat. I'm pretty sure you know how this story ends. Yes, I had to end up cutting it yet again. This time it was REALLY short.

Summer 2007, after freshman year

I cut my hair just above my ears going into my sophomore year. Through the following years, with the help of my former roommate Lauren, I began taking care of my hair. After we stopped being roommates, I decided to go natural, but later decided it wasn't for me at this point of my life.  

Transitioning

I'll be the first to admit, transitioning for those 6 months helped my hair greatly. My hair is so healthy now. I have also began stretching my relaxers. This is a process I learned from one of my favorite youtube channels (shorty2sweet29). She's a nice Guyanese young lady who is only a year older than me. She has extremely long hair and I admire it a lot. What I like most about her channel is that she doesn't have a bunch of sponsors. This means she's not trying to sell her subscribers junk! Most of the products she uses are products I grew up on. I am really loving the effects of her tips on my hair. 

My girlfriend April

Anywho, I said all of that to show you how much I have been through with my hair. As a result of that (along with typing a lot for my PR classes and sorority), my nails go unnoticed...a lot. I had a free day today, so I gave my babies all the attention they deserved. I painted them purple, except for my ring finger. On those, I painted them with glitter polish and stuck on some transparent silver beads. Oh, and they look so neat!! I am a true klutz when it comes to painting my nails. I am one proud mama when I look at my nails. Take a looksie:

Pruny hands

I hate the way my fingers look whenever I take photos of them. They always look so pruny to me. My sister does hand designs to her (much longer nails). Due to the typing I already mentioned, I have to keep my nails at an active length. It's so good to finally show them some special attention.

In other news ,I had a little bit of fun with my camera yesterday. There are some of me, as well as random items in my apartment:

You love the couch, right?

Side table in the living room

Vase on the coffee table

Keeping my eye on the prize, reaching for my goals

Until next time, I'll be waving my hand back and forth.

LALALAND

Today I have come to the understanding that my generation, as well as those which will succeed us, are screwed up. Before you go thinking, "we're not screwed up", listen to what I have to say. I think my generation is in an untouchable mindset where we are invincible beings. We are the top of all hierarchies and our actions go without consequences. We had a conversation about cell phones in my anthropology class. (Don't ask how we got to that subject...it's far too off topic) We started discussing how when cell phones first became popular, they didn't do much and were only used for emergency contact. Today, our whole lives are in our cell phones. We can watch television, order food, check emails, set the security alarm, balance our checkbook, apply for a scholarship etc. all from our glorious phones! My phone is very simple. although it has the capacity to do some of those things (actually very few), I think it takes up way too much of my time.

I'm willing to admit that about myself, but many people might not be. You know what else people are in denial about? The fact that they would rather prove that they had a breath-taking experience on facebook, than actually enjoying the breath-taking experience. Case in point, how many times have you been to a concert and saw people looking at the projection screen...instead of the stage (if they had a good view of the stage)? Better yet, how many times have you been to a concert and seen people at the stage...with cameras. They're looking through the lens to make sure they're getting the best video ever! I understand you want memories, but you need to enjoy the experience while it's right there. Life is happening all around you and you'd rather watch it on your youtube channel?

I also think our generation is screwed because some of us no longer know the value of anything we own. Yeah we may know that a pair of boots is in the 100's, but what does that $100 mean to us? It no longer means anything for us to drop $100 on ABSOLUTE JUNK. There are people out there starving, in the cities attached to the suburbs in which we live in. We get into this bubble that we have to have this meaningless junk in order to have worth. I'm not bashing anyone who likes nice things, because I too like nice things. My problem is that we no longer help our fellow man. Putting others before ourselves is becoming more and more non-existent among my peers. It's sad that if you don't meet the status quo, people wont pay you any mind.

To whoever happens to find this blog, I want you to do me a huge favor and get back to reality. Get back to taking time out to enjoy life and helping others. It's the good stuff our parents grew up on. I think if we can at least start it within our circles, we will make our tiny bit of the world a greater place to live. After that, there wont be a need to reside in LALA LAND

Raindrops Are Falling on My Head

"I hate when someone tries to analyze everyone else's life, negating the gray areas in their own rainbows."-Me

The previous quote was one of my many facebook statuses today. If there's one thing that really gets on my nerves, it's when people think that they know my life. All people judge one another, as much as we don't like to admit it. If not, there would be no preferences of spouses. Am I lying? As soon as we see people, our minds begin to think about: "her outfit is nice/not too cute", "he looks like a...", or "she looks different from how so and so described her". The funny thing is that we speak as though every thing is just peachy in our own lives.

I know my life is far from perfect and there is still a lot of maturing I am going to do in my lifetime. However, I think that people need to learn their place. Just because you have an opinion does not mean that your opinion is important to me. I usually give people I love a chance to express genuine concerns regarding my life. However, if we are fair weather friends, I do not expect you to give me "advice" about aspects of my life that may be sensitive to talk about. If you are saying things in love, I am most likely to receive it well. It's much too bad that it usually comes in a "My life is better than yours" way.

I think the reason that this gets me upset is because I have really started relying on God before I make my decisions, down to the littlest of things. My decisions are no longer my own, so when people say that they disagree with a decision I've made, it's like they're dissing the steps God has ordered specifically for me. People also forget that because we are all in different walks of life, their remedies might not work. The only thing that I can confirm is universal is Christ's love, His word, His blood, His grace and mercy. All else doesn't really matter if it isn't based on these. This is just my mindset.

Another thing that ticks me off is that the people pointing the finger are the most jacked-up at the times they point their nasty little un-manicured fingers at my life. Perhaps this is the reason why they look to bring others down. I have also realized that the people who want to be the advisors in my life, are usually the ones who look for human advocates to explain God's plan to them. Since they have surrendered their control over their actions to the approval if this advocate, they are looking for other people to control. Unfortunately, I am not the one. I love guidance from people who truly desire the spirit to lead them in their own lives. I have a really hard time allowing people to give me guidance, if they don't allow God (not the pastor or mentor alone) to direct their own paths.

I don't want to keep on ranting, but I am really fed up with people trying to put my life "on-blast" based on things they clearly know nothing about. My relationship with God is mine and no one else's. It's something special between the two of us. I can't explain how he's moving in my life. I'd love for you to try to understand it, but I'll admit it's complex. God is not like man. I understand that his visions for our lives, are so great we can barely wrap our minds around it. So, until my destiny is revealed...KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF OR FORWARD THEM TO THE ALMIGHTY CREATOR. I live to please Him and Him alone. I made a vow to be obedient, despite what you or others may think. Consider this, maybe the clouds in your own rainbow are the reason you'd like to rain on my parade...

Drowsy Daft Punk Day

I've been doing a bit of thinking today and I decided to cut on my favorite Daft Punk song, "High Life". I like this song because of its tempo, and the fact that it sounds like they're saying, "buy a thong". It's a quite colorful song with minimal lyrics...the lyrics that you hear are actually quite debatable. People have debated about what is being said on this track almost as much as in Minnie Riperton's "Les Fleur". "Mable, Sadie, Katie, Lola, Roses", is what I have always heard when I listen to the song and others have agreed.

I digress, but it got me to thinking about perceptions. Sometimes things/people aren't what/who you may have thought they were. I love this whole topic because I am always being perceived as someone who I am not. I have heard that I look mean, I look innocent, I look like a trouble maker, I come across as someone who knows things. Except for the last statement, I disagree with all of those assumptions. Of course I think highly of myself, but I am in no way a mean-spirited person. I love all people, although I might sometimes hate the annoying things they do or choices they make. I am in no way a goodie two-shoes. I am not a trouble maker, but that doesn't mean I wont defend myself. However, this post wasn't intended to be ALL about people's perceptions of me....

On my way to class, I spoke to a classmate and friend, with whom I joke frequently. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, a black sweater, and an "Elmer Fudd" hat. In addition to this, he has tattoos. I told him that if I didn't know better, I would think he didn't do any classwork. I truly believe that others might feel that way about him too based on his appearance, but he probably gets the same grades as me. We have two classes together and he does well on those assignments as well. It is really funny how people may think they "know" you because of how you look.

With that being said, I was reminded that my first impression has to be up to par because I don't just represent myself. I represent everything that I associate myself with; family, friends, organizations, Christianity, American citizen, Caribbean heritage, and an educated young woman. All of these things should be well reflected to those who see, and well represented by me. Perception isn't exactly what your reputation will be, but first impressions can make or break your reputation. Keep this in mind :-)

Becoming a grown up

What's scarier than being a kid the night before you start middle school? I think it has to be coming to the realization that you're about to become an official grown-up. Being an adult has nothing to do with age. In my opinion, being 18 and in college actually adds some years to your adolescence. College has been a great experience for me, but it's about to all be over. Actually, it should have come to an end last May. I wont go into details about exactly what happened because it has become a blessing in disguise.

I think this is the second best semester I have experienced in all of my matriculation. All of my assignments/exams have been coming back with A's on them. I am excited to see my semester GPA. I also have made a conscious decision to network and make friends with my classmates. I'll admit, there was a time when I didn't want to talk to any of them. To me, PR majors are all full of themselves...even including me! I just didn't feel like being bothered sometimes. Besides, it's good to have friends in different disciplines. It gives you different perspectives. I digress, I finally let myself go and make connections. Class is actually bearable because of it.

As far as the friends I had before, a lot of them are now gone because they have graduated or moved on to another stage of their life. It's absolutely okay because I outgrew some of them anyway. That is one of the pains of becoming a "grown up" as well. When you look around and realize that you no longer identify with your "life-long" friends, it sometimes hurts both of you. Somehow I was able to replace my circle of friends very fast. I wont say that becoming a member of Alpha Nu Omega made me have a change of heart, but being a member of ANQ and Advent fellowship ( a Seventh-Day Adventist fellowship on my campus) has really illuminated things that I tried to keep in the dark.

With that being said, I am thankful for my new friends. They have helped me spiritually to become a responsible adult. We have conversations about marriage, responsible relationships, men becoming the priests of their home, and how to handle temptations. I've learned a lot and it has helped me greatly. It has actually even comforted my sadness, due to these crazy maternal instincts kicking in. Can you believe that there was a time I didn't want to have any children? Now I want five, no exaggeration! Once my biological clock started kicking, I used to actually be jealous of my friends who were married with children already. Mostly guys, but they still have something I wanted. I thought I had somehow made a mistake by choosing to educate myself now, rather than starting a family. However, I am fine with it. I realize this is ultimately what I want. I want to be able to bring something to the table when I get married. I want to be able to have educated conversations with my husband, and to have my own career. What is for me, will be. All I have to do now is live according to God's will for my life.

It is still a bit scary to know that I'll be 22 soon, a college graduate, possibly a grad school student (praying on if I should go right away or wait), a licensed driver (finally), and if all goes well...on my own. This is one of the biggest transitions in my life, tied with: single to married and having no children to starting a family. I don't know what life has for me, but I'm ready for this ride.

I added a picture when I wasn't so grown up....