Wake up out of your daze!

I'm thinking that I want to talk about dreams today. In this week, dreams have been a motif. I had two weird dreams and a friend of mine had a weird one just last night. Actually, I'm hearing about the dream as I am typing. I am not even sure of how to try to comprehend them. I'd love to tell you about my dream, but I have this thing about posting my innermost thoughts on the web...even though I'm a blogger lol.

I'm not going to talk about my personal dream, but the topic takes me back to one of my favorite people in the Bible. There's Jesus, Esther, and then Joseph! I love the stories about when young people do great things. Without getting too off topic, I love the story of Esther because she was so brave. I am older than the age people believe she was at the time, but even at this age I wouldn't do what she did to save her people. Actually, I don't think that I would do a lot of what the young people did in the Bible. They truly had to overcome some things.

Joseph was his father's favorite. Being the oldest of all of my siblings, I know exactly how that must have felt to know that your younger brother was the favorite. I don't think I would have been mad at my sibling, but I would have picked on them. I mean put yourself in their shoes a minute...You have these two brothers who get special treatment, just because their mom was your father's favorite wife. Then, he's having these dreams that represent you bowing down to him. To make matters even worse, he gets a brand new Gucci jacket, while you're wearing Target's finest. I don't know about you, but I would be pretty jealous. Joseph's brothers were.


Long story short, his brothers' scheming had him as a slave. Eventually, his dream came true...by interpreting someone else's dream. I always found it interesting that his life took a turn after a dream was spoken of. You follow? Think back to when his brothers sold him...After he told them his dream. Think of how he got of jail...After he interpreted the cup bearer's dream. Although some time passed before the cup bearer remembered Joseph, it took a dream to remember. When the Pharaoh needed answers, Joseph interpreted. It was then that Joseph's dream actually came true. Pretty interesting, huh?? lol

I really wish Joseph was around to tell me what all of these dreams mean, I'm totally confused. In the meantime, I'm going to pray on it and seek God's answers. That's all I can do. As for my friend, I'm gonna pray for him too! Well, there are some chores I must attend to today, so that's all.

While you were sleeping...

I am literally sitting in my family room and I'm blushing. I have no idea why I am. Psych! I'm totally lying to myself. I know why I am. I just don't really want to spill the beans. There I go fibbing again. I to want to spill the beans, but I probably shouldn't. I just feel so overwhelmed with emotion though, I want to make sure I'm not rambling when I write lol. (I probably still will)

So yesterday a close(r) friend of mine came to visit. This has been going on since last week, but I enjoy his company. It's just really honest to goodness fun. He whooped me in Wii bowling and I was a bit blown that he did that in MY house lol. It was okay despite that because I was spending time with him. I mean, hanging out and having a good conversation are always good!! I really enjoy myself when he's around.

We've been friends for a few years now, but it still isn't a really long time. Over the years I've began to see different characteristics of him that are pretty cool. Thinking about that makes me wonder how people see me on a day to day basis. I know that a few people think I have some type of alter ego, and I really don't want them to think that. I'm not Beyonce/Sasha Fierce. I'm just Tai. People think that when I'm in Sathiyyah mode, I'm the classy, more lady-like, student who takes life seriously. When I'm in Tai mode, I'm more laid back, tomboyish, with an "I don't care attitude" lol. My friends really do crack me up. I act like a combination of all of those things...All of the time. Of course people act differently behind closed doors....right? No, maybe it's just me.

To me, those are the intimate moments when we are truly ourselves. We are alone with ourselves and God. God already knows us, so we're not shoking him at all. We're so worried about our reputation all of the time, that we sometimes forget about our character. I was on FB again (I know lol) and a friend of my mom's had a status that I really like. It says, "Take care of your character and your reputation will take care of itself" It's so true, though. The thing about character is that it's one of the few things in life that absoluteley no one will ever be able to take away from you. We sometimes allow others to tell us who we should or shouldn't be, when it really isn't their place to say. They can't live our lives for us, we must make our own choices. I'm not saying that guidance is bad... It's good to learn from our mistakes, but we don't always need to make mistakes in order to learn. These stories help us to prevent having to go through their footsteps.

Although the previous is true, remember that your character is unique. It may not match with any body else. So do not try it lol. Build it on the basis of your own intuition. Giving yourself a once over now and again may work, but don't sweat the small stuff or the criticism of your failures. Stand firm on your convictions and keep God in the midst. You are on the road to success!

Today, I also found myself surfing the insight magazine website and found one of Shayna Bailey's videos. I always like her videos because they're a tad bit funny, but very much true. Check her stuff out and let me know what you think!

New me...and not because it's '09 either

Well, I created this blog in '08 as a way to vent, but after much thought I've decided to just talk. I'm going to talk about things that I want to say, but maybe can't always find the words to say it verbally. I'm going to talk about the things that I maybe shouldn't say directly to someone, because they may not be able to handle it.
My inspiration for this comes from a facebook group I started in '06. In the group, my friends and I discussed a controversial topic each day. It was a forum for anyone to discuss their beliefs and ideas, and only be judged by each other. Any comment was allowed, as long as you could back it up.
I must admit, that my true colors are sometimes shown better when my words are written, as opposed to spoken. For example, I have a friend (Hey Rob) who didn't think I was that deep, until he joined my fb group. Now we talk all the time!! haha. I know sometimes he must think I talk to much. It's w/e though lol. I like getting my opinions out and I have a passion for listening to others. (My mom would totally disagree).
To explain the title of my blog, I have to give you a bit of history. My family and I are S.D.A. christians. We worship on the seventh day, or Sabbath. On friday nights, the beginning of sabbath, we have a family worship. Breaking tradition, my father asked me to lead out. I had no idea what I was going to do, ecause I really wanted it to be something that reflected me.
I logged onto facebook for some reason. You may say I as procrastinating, and I would say, you're right. haha. Through my procrastination, though, I was inspired!! Yeah, Facebook inspired me. I keep seeing status changes, and people who made new year's resolutions. Honestly, how many of your friends have this same satus every year, "New year, New me"? I'm so sick of seeing that, and the poeple never change. By new, I think many of them think that they will be better because they're conforming to what the media portrays is good. I know this may sound ironic coming from someone who is aspiring to become this "media". However, I still understand that God doesn't want us to aspire to be like that although we are living in this world.
I kept looking for a verse to base my worship service around, and then I GOT IT!! Romans 12:2-8 I think. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect" I know we're not supposed to rub it in people's faces that we are exposed to knowledge, but I have to say DUH to this one. lol The progress of sanctification, dying to sin more and more, and living to righteousness more and more, is the carrying on this renewing work, till it is perfected in glory. The conflict to this renewal is, conformity to this world. We must be cautious of making plans for happiness, as though our hapiness depends on the things here on Earth, which isn't going to last for much longer. We shouldn't try to be like the people who deliberately lust, and worry about Earthly treasures.
I know I'm far from perfect, but I see every day as an opportunity to get back on the right track. Although God's still working on me, I try to do the best I can each day. A lot of the disgust towards certain people are gone. I'm going to love them now, and love them hard. I'm going to take better care of my family and friends too. I'll keep in touch and see how they are dooing. I'll make a better effort to spend time praying and in the scriptures. I really want to be a new me. I think some people are right when they say that you'll understand things when you get older...I've learned so much already, and I'm looking forward to even more in years to come!
In other news, I've been having a great break! I've been resting, eating healthier, enjoying company, spending time with my family, and just getting back to the REAL Tai. Not that I've ever changed, but I hid myself from the public for a while until I got some things straight. At this point of my life, with all I am trying to get over, I know I must part ways with an old habit I had. Now I'm going to really start looking into what my heart wants and what God wants for me, rather than what my eyes see. That got me into a lot of trouble in '08. Trust me, if you thought I was great in '08...I'm doing fine in '09. cliches but I'm too blessed to be stressed lol...but in order to prove that,I gotta stop thinking by myself. They say make God your co-pilot...haha no, he can take the wheel because he knows the plane better than I do, he created it! I think God has some blessings just for me and I'm claiming them. It's what I gotta do....I'm out!