What's scarier than being a kid the night before you start middle school? I think it has to be coming to the realization that you're about to become an official grown-up. Being an adult has nothing to do with age. In my opinion, being 18 and in college actually adds some years to your adolescence. College has been a great experience for me, but it's about to all be over. Actually, it should have come to an end last May. I wont go into details about exactly what happened because it has become a blessing in disguise.
I think this is the second best semester I have experienced in all of my matriculation. All of my assignments/exams have been coming back with A's on them. I am excited to see my semester GPA. I also have made a conscious decision to network and make friends with my classmates. I'll admit, there was a time when I didn't want to talk to any of them. To me, PR majors are all full of themselves...even including me! I just didn't feel like being bothered sometimes. Besides, it's good to have friends in different disciplines. It gives you different perspectives. I digress, I finally let myself go and make connections. Class is actually bearable because of it.
As far as the friends I had before, a lot of them are now gone because they have graduated or moved on to another stage of their life. It's absolutely okay because I outgrew some of them anyway. That is one of the pains of becoming a "grown up" as well. When you look around and realize that you no longer identify with your "life-long" friends, it sometimes hurts both of you. Somehow I was able to replace my circle of friends very fast. I wont say that becoming a member of Alpha Nu Omega made me have a change of heart, but being a member of ANQ and Advent fellowship ( a Seventh-Day Adventist fellowship on my campus) has really illuminated things that I tried to keep in the dark.
With that being said, I am thankful for my new friends. They have helped me spiritually to become a responsible adult. We have conversations about marriage, responsible relationships, men becoming the priests of their home, and how to handle temptations. I've learned a lot and it has helped me greatly. It has actually even comforted my sadness, due to these crazy maternal instincts kicking in. Can you believe that there was a time I didn't want to have any children? Now I want five, no exaggeration! Once my biological clock started kicking, I used to actually be jealous of my friends who were married with children already. Mostly guys, but they still have something I wanted. I thought I had somehow made a mistake by choosing to educate myself now, rather than starting a family. However, I am fine with it. I realize this is ultimately what I want. I want to be able to bring something to the table when I get married. I want to be able to have educated conversations with my husband, and to have my own career. What is for me, will be. All I have to do now is live according to God's will for my life.
It is still a bit scary to know that I'll be 22 soon, a college graduate, possibly a grad school student (praying on if I should go right away or wait), a licensed driver (finally), and if all goes well...on my own. This is one of the biggest transitions in my life, tied with: single to married and having no children to starting a family. I don't know what life has for me, but I'm ready for this ride.
I added a picture when I wasn't so grown up....
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